Day 328, Greetings from NY!

Laura, NY Subway, July, 2007

A few days ago I picked up seven small boxes of film from Louisville, KY. These boxes represent the culmination of the last five years of my life, and the future of Boonville. The last year will always mean so much more then a few boxes of film, but there is an overwhelming feeling of satisfaction when holding the (near) entirety of the project in my hands -- It really blows my mind that all the sweat and tears, in its physical form, can simply be held in my arms!

Over the last year I've pretty much been in my own world, but now I'm finally back and dealing with the reality of it all. I'm excited about the editing process, etc. But I'm completely broke, have no income at all, do not have a job lined up, and I'm desperately trying to rebuild my relationship with Laura (I believe we are on the road to a healthy recovery!). Not to mention coming down from being on the road for the last 300+ days and having the weight of the projects completion on my shoulders.

Over the last few days that I've been home, I've been having trouble sleeping, I can't sit still, and the anxiety is giving me crushing headaches. Although I currently feel like it's all crashing in around me, I'm embracing every minute of it. I worked for a very long time to make it to this place. And as I sat in my kitchen staring out the window today, I remembered the long nights in which I would dream about this moment. I'm extremely grateful and proud. And very excited! Stay tuned. More on editing and the next phase soon.

Lame Deer & Devils Tower

Devils Tower

After an hour of driving on Rt 90 through Montana, I decided to turn off and take the back roads. What a beautiful thing. No cops, no trucks, no cars, and the few people I did pass waved to me, or tipped their cowboy hat.

I made my way about 60 miles before I found gas. A close call. Especially since I still have no cell service. I roll into the sparse town of Lame Deer, MT. Minutes after entering, I see 10 kids on four wheelers, 6 people riding horses, and 50 to 100 people walking the dirt roads. The town was old and beautiful: Robert Adams beautiful, not Ansel Adams. The economy is obviously depressed, and the town was littered with "I Am Meth Clean" stickers. Lame Deer is in the middle of Cheyenne Country. About 95% of the people I saw were American-Indian. I spent a few hours taking photos, and I was even invited into the home of local who wanted to show me the Buffalo head in his bedroom. He explained how he places the skull face down to keep its spirit from escaping. He then invited me to a Sweat. I denied. It was a fun few hours. And a needed boost.

I then headed to Devils Tower, and the to Deadwood, SD, where I stayed the night. I'm finally off to Mt. Rushmore today. And then no more screwing around, I'm getting my ass home.

Hannah Montana

Somewhere in Montana, June 8, 2008

A lot has happened over the last few weeks. Laura and I started out on a great road trip that ended up being awesome, terrible, horrible, and awesome. It's back to being somewhere between terrible and horrible. Laura flew home from Spokane, WA yesterday: The road, and the stop-and-go was getting to her -- and of course there is being stuck in a small car with me.

I will write more later, but the bottom line is that Boonville, and my (often selfish) obsession with the road and my work, has damaged our relationship. There were many times on this trip I struggled with this projects purpose, and the purpose of life and art in general. These are thought-provoking and important questions -- in my opinion -- but right now none of it seems remotely worth it.

After Laura flew out, I went across the street to fill up the car with gas. I was shocked to find out my bank card get denied. It turns out that I recently lost track of my bank acct while traveling, and I now have a balance of -$27. I then realize my emergency CC expired just last month, and all I have is $20 in cash. I pulled out the greatly-in-debt Amex card used for Boonville, and although it is far passed max, it still worked. And to top it all off, my cell phone has not had service since.

I am in Montana now, and will be heading to Devils Tower and Mt. Rushmore and the Badlands today. I hope to be home soon. I am very tired of being on the road, and all I want to do is figure out my life, my relationship and to sleep in my own bed for the first time since November.