Tales from the "F" train
Today Laura and I spent the afternoon with friends in Prospect Park. "Do you have your camera?" She asked. "No, I don't need it".
Cut to four hours later, I step into the "F" train on my way to work and see an old man holding what looks to be an oxygen mask to his face. A few minutes after I sat down I started to smell something funny, within another few minutes I had a headache. I turned to take a closer look at this guy and I saw that it wasn't an oxygen mask he was holding to his face, it was a sock. He was holding an old and dirty sock that looked as if it was just picked from a puddle on 10th Avenue. Seconds later he passed out. I took a closer look to find a can of paint-thinner peeking out of his pants pocket. I considered getting up and moving to a different car because of the headache but I never did. Every 10 minutes or so this man would quickly wake, look around, shove the sock in his face, look around again, shove the sock in his face again and then fall back down. The last time he did this I couldn't stop staring at him, nor could the group of children across from him. He opened the can of paint-thinner, repeatedly poured it all over his sock, shoved the sock in his face and held it there for what seemed like five minutes. What did this man look like? Imagine a 90 year-old Steven Wright, stringy hair, nearly bald, wearing the same thing for weeks and strung out on paint-thinner - all while riding the NY subway system. It was actually pretty sad. All I could think of, while I was awestruck by this man, was what had happened? Could all of this full-frontal depression been from one mistake he made long ago? Could he have been a respectable human being at one point in his life? Then came my paranoia: Could this happen to me? Could I be a strung out junkie on the "F" train someday? Clearly I'm not on that path, I have a blog! But that's what seeing stuff like that evokes. I quickly let go of that happening to me and started to imagine the course of this man's life. Two minutes after I got off the train I was in the middle of Times Square: Thousands of people were circling around me. Thousands of people with deep secrets, issues, fears, etc. I was overwhelmed. It was awesome. I just wish I had my camera.
Cut to four hours later, I step into the "F" train on my way to work and see an old man holding what looks to be an oxygen mask to his face. A few minutes after I sat down I started to smell something funny, within another few minutes I had a headache. I turned to take a closer look at this guy and I saw that it wasn't an oxygen mask he was holding to his face, it was a sock. He was holding an old and dirty sock that looked as if it was just picked from a puddle on 10th Avenue. Seconds later he passed out. I took a closer look to find a can of paint-thinner peeking out of his pants pocket. I considered getting up and moving to a different car because of the headache but I never did. Every 10 minutes or so this man would quickly wake, look around, shove the sock in his face, look around again, shove the sock in his face again and then fall back down. The last time he did this I couldn't stop staring at him, nor could the group of children across from him. He opened the can of paint-thinner, repeatedly poured it all over his sock, shoved the sock in his face and held it there for what seemed like five minutes. What did this man look like? Imagine a 90 year-old Steven Wright, stringy hair, nearly bald, wearing the same thing for weeks and strung out on paint-thinner - all while riding the NY subway system. It was actually pretty sad. All I could think of, while I was awestruck by this man, was what had happened? Could all of this full-frontal depression been from one mistake he made long ago? Could he have been a respectable human being at one point in his life? Then came my paranoia: Could this happen to me? Could I be a strung out junkie on the "F" train someday? Clearly I'm not on that path, I have a blog! But that's what seeing stuff like that evokes. I quickly let go of that happening to me and started to imagine the course of this man's life. Two minutes after I got off the train I was in the middle of Times Square: Thousands of people were circling around me. Thousands of people with deep secrets, issues, fears, etc. I was overwhelmed. It was awesome. I just wish I had my camera.
posted by Timothy Briner at
10:06 AM
1 Comments:
I know you meant only to capture the moment, but I'm glad you didn't take his picture.
And yes, I think we could all end up going that route should things go a certain way. It takes so many twists and turns and the intricacies of life to make up who we are, and I deeply doubt that his situation was anything other than something developed over a long period of time.
He was once someone's little boy.
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